Yesterday I teased this post about New Year’s resolutions, why I don’t make them, and what I do instead. So without preamble, let’s get into the meat of what a resolution is. Merriam-Webster defines a “resolution” as “the act or process of making a definite and serious decision to do something.” With the start of… Read More Resolving Not To Resolve
I realize the title of this blog post implies that I only read a book a year, and that is patently untrue. I read two. Seriously, however, it’s time for a new book, and this time it’s “The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder” by Randi Kreger. I got this book back some years… Read More New Year, New Book, New Checklist
Today I finished Kiera Van Gelder’s incredible memoir “The Buddha and the Borderline.” It left me feeling very much at peace with myself and the current moment, and that feeling has not abated in the half hour or so since I finished the book. I am very aware of my mindset and very much at… Read More A Moment of Transcendence
Faithful readers of this blog know that I organize my life by two books, one made of checklists and vitals tracking, the other made of a rolling to-do list. For the last week and a half, I haven’t wanted to crack open either book. It’s not a matter of not feeling up to doing everything… Read More Inconsistency of Mind
Mostly this blog deals with my own personal struggles with mental illness and my quest to be a better human being. But today I have to stop for a moment and note the passing of Joe Cocker, who was arguably best known for his cover of the Beatles’ “With A Little Help From My Friends.”… Read More RIP Joe Cocker
Tonight I start the slow process of resetting my circadian rhythm. I’ll be awake as late as I can and sleep as long as I can afterward, in the hope that once more I can get my body back to being unconscious from 11 pm to 6 am. It’s bad enough that I get headaches… Read More A Cacophony of Time
I woke up this morning at 11:00. While I slept, I didn’t hear my vitals alarm at 6:00, got woken up to chug down my morning meds with a glass of milk at 7:00, and missed both breakfast and my 8:45 appointment with my general practitioner on a diabetes follow-up. My day did not start… Read More The Fine Line Between Perfection and Paranoia
Faithful readers of this blog might have noticed my absence over the last week. That’s been partially due to recurring panic attacks over attending my intensive outpatient therapy (since put on hold until I can talk this over with my therapist) and a sudden inability to manage my blood glucose (which we think we’ve gotten… Read More Lights On, Blinds Open Kind of Day
This morning I was supposed to start my intensive outpatient program, the one I’ve been putting off since October. Note the use of the words “supposed to.” I woke up in a dead panic about my day. I think it started when I realized that I would be out and about and away from my… Read More Dead Panic, Ice Cubes, and Walkabouts
Photo: The Holy Grail prop used in “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.” Image taken from indianajones.wikia.com; the prop itself is the intellectual property of Lucasfilm Ltd. As promised in last night’s Three Good Things post, I wanted to talk more about the concept of radical acceptance and my rudimentary understanding of it. This is… Read More Radical Acceptance
