Back on Track

The last couple of days have been less than exemplary in my world of “getting better.” I’ve blown off walking, I’ve blown off a regular sleep schedule, I’ve blown off yoga, and I’ve blown off my regular writing. For that, I apologize. I know there are a number of you who check in on me through Facebook (and then follow the link over here) and I’ve been relatively silent.

Last night I had a panic attack and I had to whisk myself out of the public eye very suddenly. It’s the first one of those I’ve had in several days and it caught me off guard. So when I came home, I started focusing on things that made me feel better.

Problem was, I focused on things that made me feel better until 6:30 in the morning.

When I crawled to bed, my wife asked if I was going to take my vitals and I told her I was just too exhausted to move. She had to wake me back up at 7:00 for my morning meds, and I slept until 1:30 in the afternoon. My initial though upon waking was that the day was shot. But I stopped myself.

Why should I let waking up in the middle of the afternoon ruin my entire day? Sure, things will be tight, and I’ll miss ticking off a few things on my checklist, but it’s no reason to throw in the towel right off the bat. I can make today a good day, despite my struggles of the past couple days and the hyperfocusing on those activities that made me feel better. (Note to self: the Internet is a very shiny place sometimes.)

I went ahead and took my vitals – I hadn’t eaten in hours, so the fasting blood glucose would still be a good number – and started my day just as I would have if I’d gotten up at 6:00 instead of going to bed around the same time. The breakfast ritual – eating, setting the two hour timer for the post-meal glucose check, the check itself – would be lost, so I just dove right into lunch and started from there.

Time might prevent me from doing everything on the rest of my list, but my late start is no reason to consider the day shot. In fact, it’s just cause for digging in my heels and ensuring it’s going to be a good day.

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