A Death in the Family

Now that I’ve told Mom, I can post this.

My aunt passed away April 18th. I stumbled across her obituary late last night looking for information about her husband (she was married to Mom’s brother). The two sides of the family had a falling out years ago and never reconciled. Mom is now fairly convinced that the situation is likely permanently irreconcilable due to them never telling her about my aunt’s illness and passing. (I’m unsure of what she died from, but she was in hospice care at the end.)

My aunt and I were never close, so I don’t feel an exceptional amount of grief at her passing, which is odd for a family member. I’m actually more upset that no one told Mom that she was sick, and I’m grieving for Mom’s loss more than I am my own.

Having to tell my mother that her estranged sister-in-law died over a month ago is one of the harder things I’ve had to do.

I’m not really sure how I should be reacting to this. I’m mostly numb about it, haven’t cried or gotten sad. My thoughts have been mostly wrapped up in figuring out how to tell Mom, and now that I’ve done that, I can start to process things on my own.

But I feel almost like I’ve processed it, like my reaction is more “oh” than “oh dear.”

I’ve told myself that I can blow off most of my checklist today, like I do when I’m sick, but so far the only things that could have happened that haven’t are exercise and stretching. My checklist looks a lot better today that it did yesterday, and I’ve honestly slept through more of today than yesterday.

It feels like something that happened to someone else’s family.

I wish that weren’t the case.

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