I haven’t written in some time, not because I didn’t want to, but because I couldn’t. The subject of this blog post was something I needed to tell family first before putting it out publicly, and now that certain people know, I can write. Regular readers of this blog know that for the past two… Read More #611 – Crash & Burn/Phoenix
Usually around this time of night I feel isolated and alone. Tonight it’s a little worse. I feel like I’ve been burning bridges left and right and that I’m isolated because of my own actions, so I feel like I can’t reach out to anyone because there’s no one left to reach out to. My… Read More #610 – Burnt Bridges
I haven’t written in my blog for almost 14 months. Life has been just busy enough to sustain me over that time, but as I’m getting closer to applying to my degree program I’m finding myself with more and more free time as the things I can do in preparation become fewer and fewer, and… Read More #608 – Relapse
Regular readers of my blog – well, the ones I had before I took most of last year off – know that I use my blog as a coping mechanism whenever my mental illnesses get rough. I’d guess that most of my posts here for the first year and change I was writing were very… Read More #607 – Reaching Out
A little while ago, maybe a couple weeks, I honestly don’t remember, I applied to be part of a 23 and Me research study into the genetics of patients with depression and bipolar disorder. In exchange for me participating in several surveys over the coming months, they would send me a complimentary genetics testing kit… Read More What’s In My DNA?
I alluded to this in my post on the 18th, but I figured that it was important enough to warrant its own post to delve further into my concerns. The good thing about my checklist/vitals notebook is that I can monitor trends over both the short term and longer term. For instance, I can note… Read More I’m Concerned for the Future
My wife mentioned something to me the other day that I’ve been mulling over ever since. I mentioned that I was lethargic again and she pointed out that I’ve more or less been that way for about six months. I honestly had no idea that it’s been going on that long, but I’ve pretty much… Read More Long-Term Lethargy
I was having an okay day this morning. I got up with the alarm, I did my vitals and my meds and my breakfast, and I went back to sleep for a short little nap. Got up, dinked around on the computer, then went to go lie back down. The second nap was thanks to… Read More The Insidious Power of Music
I went to see my therapist today. We talked at length about my feelings of shame, and she gave me a little homework – think of a time (several, if possible) that I made a mistake, dropped the ball or otherwise just flat screwed something up and DIDN’T feel shame. We also identified some possible… Read More The Long and Winding Road
Last night my wife introduced me to a meme based off a Tumblr post and its response. The original post was “I don’t think people realise how hard it is to re-discover the person you were before depression or even try to remember your own personality.” The response was “And if you’ve had depression since… Read More Who Am I?